I had an urge to get a replacement laptop as soon as possible, so went to 'Scan' and bought a Packard Bell (4GB, 2.3GHz, 500GB)... the best deal I could find over here for the mid-lower end range. I could have waited until the end of the year to get one from the UK, but for the sake of saving about €40 I was too impatient. How life revolves around IT and the internet these days. I’m not sure if I trust Scan though, as I have a feeling the after care will be non-existent.
After writing off November as a financial disaster, I am also set for a very quiet December. But there are much worse things happening in the world so what am I going on about? As part of a fresh start, I decided to sort my appearance out at work- no more cheap short-sleeved shirts and untrimmed facial hair. I am noticing film crews and a few influential people visiting Smart City Building 1 recently, including a man I recognised from political debate programmes on TV- so I’m quite happy about all this, almost to the point of job satisfaction. Now that is an unfamiliar feeling.
Thanks to professional intervention (and another €20) the sky dish is now pointing at the correct satellite. Now my mate’s son is back in charge and a free 24hr test line is activated. He assures me it is all set up for me to dive into this vast ball-pit of Satellite TV channels. But what I actually find is that none of them are working. So obviously now I go back to being pissed off (but trying to hide it to be polite). Why did I not just get it done professionally with my original plan of (ab)using Mum & Dad’s multi-room Sky TV subscription? The whole point of doing this was to get to watch familiar English channels- but even after €300 I still can’t, so what was the point? Bad atmosphere in the house due to me spitting my dummy... I am told it is just an internet connection problem and can be sorted, but I’m sceptical.
Saturday- carried on sorting stuff out... car tyre repair, relieved that I didn’t need a new tyre, but then irritated by being charged €15 just to take out one car radio and put another one in... something I can definitely do myself. So why didn’t I? Because I was assured by a mate that it would only be €5. The slightest thing is annoying me immensely as this country seems to be working against me- making everything difficult- relentlessly draining my money- one thing after another sending me into a new strop. The good news is that they have saved my data on the old laptop by freezing the hard drive (?), but of course that too will eventually involve me having to hand over some more money... I can’t wait!
I found out that Microsoft Office is not installed on the new laptop. Is this normal? I feel like I’ve been conned. Apparently I have to pay to activate it... yes that’s right, more money to pay, just what I wanted really, so I can’t moan.
I decided to give in to the trend and visit 'Smart' supermarket in Birkirkara for more xmas shopping. It’s a labyrinth and a dump and I’ll probably never go back, but at least I’m slowly managing to fill the gaps in my lists... as usual obsessively checking every shop for the best gifts. It's less intense than last year when I was combing Whitby and the whole of the Trafford Centre, but still I have to keep up my record of always getting the best presents.
Back to the Sky TV thing- I managed to find BBC1, which then disappeared, but still it proves (I think) that the subscription will work once connectivity is sorted out, so it's not a disaster.
I finished watching the last of the long ‘9/11 conspiracy’ documentaries that you can find on YouTube. It's not like I’m thinking about this all the time, but I’m still very interested and will have to write some sort of facebook blog to publicise my findings.
At work, taking instructions from the management team in Dubai, then filtering down through various consultancies in Malta, seems quite a hectic way to manage operations. At the risk of being cynical it seems that this project is just a toy to such a massive organisation, and we are often told to make things happen with incomplete designs. However, SmartCity was still nominated in some national awards for design excellence, hosted by the president. I was invited but had to miss out as I left my suit in Crewe. Happy to be told the next day how boring it was.
At work, taking instructions from the management team in Dubai, then filtering down through various consultancies in Malta, seems quite a hectic way to manage operations. At the risk of being cynical it seems that this project is just a toy to such a massive organisation, and we are often told to make things happen with incomplete designs. However, SmartCity was still nominated in some national awards for design excellence, hosted by the president. I was invited but had to miss out as I left my suit in Crewe. Happy to be told the next day how boring it was.
Connection for Sky TV is sorted out- but still can’t get all channels. I am told I’d need an even bigger dish, over 2m, so I will make do with what I have. Imagine blindly expecting to get all channels with perfect reception over here. Meanwhile, more leaving do’s at work... more football injuries... presents bought from Busy Bee, the best confectionery outlet, in Ta’ Xbiex.
Thursday 8th and Tuesday 13th are public holidays, which feels strange at this time of year. The first day I completely wasted apart from some experimentation with dauphinoise potatoes. The second was not much livelier- trailing round Piscopo garden centre in Burmarrad. Why do I never make use of this free time to work on my music ambitions? There must be something useful I can do, but my frame of mind seems to be as long as I’m being healthy and not spending anything then that’s all that matters.
The stuff that happened inbetween these days is not much more interesting but I’ll write about it anyway... a meeting at Magħtab in some sort of secret bunker belonging to one of the contractors- quite a nice little office hidden away there behind the massive rubbish tip which the area is infamous for housing... On to Valletta for clothes shopping- pretty lame and very expensive. The Christmas spirit is there, but once it gets past 7pm the city just dies. One of the best places to go for me is La Vallette band club, but I still have no idea which part of Malta is best for shopping... On to St Julian’s which is just more of the same, I can’t find anything that isn’t overpriced, so I just walked around, not feeling motivated to go into any bars either. I'm finding very few options for nights out in general, but there MUST be places. I need local knowledge, but for now no problem having a quiet phase.
Saturday- a visit from the plumber, so I am instructed not to flush the toilet and this rings through my head while I am engaged. But when the time came, I realised it’s impossible to stop yourself from flushing- it’s an automatic reaction. Or it could just be me not being able to focus, but it turned out quite an expensive mistake as the architect was there at the time and it caused a bit of a fuss. Putting this down to experience, went out to a place called Lija, to JB stores- a useful area to know, with a load of cheap shops in close proximity- a bit like a retail park which only has Instore, B&M’s and Poundstretchers.
Sunday brought the Festa ta’ Majjal (pig feast) to Siggiewi... I tried not to be negative as it’s good to see the local culture, but I’ve decided now these events are always disappointing. For a start, someone decided they can’t possibly serve the roast pork meat in a bread roll, you can only get it on a plastic plate with some greasy potatoes and a minging sausage for €10, so I settled for a dry gammon roll for €3. The locally produced chocolate was just like chewing gum in taste and texture, so that put me even more in a bad mood. They did have a stage with live entertainment, which I thought was good at first, but after a while I noticed the singers were definitely miming to backing tracks, despite swanning around as if they were some sort of celebrity. Where is the talent? It annoys me to watch somebody perform when I know I could do a better job myself (playing not ‘singing’). The best part was a visit to a local pig farm for €1, but even then I felt sorry for the animals in small cages and sleeping on metal grids with no bedding. Are we supposed to be impressed? These events just want your money for minimum effort and the disappointment is inevitable as the organisers make sure you never actually get what you want out of it. However, despite all this, I’m still glad I went.
Back home to my 9/11 research videos... an attitude seems to exist where people who question the government story are derided... e.g. “it’s sad that some people have to create lies to mask the harsh reality that terrorists attacked and killed us”... but the sad thing to me is not being able to open your mind to the even harsher reality which is backed up by science. I find most people are not willing to even consider that the US government were involved. Therefore, I won’t waste time trying to convince them, or depressing myself with it all... but I can’t help philosophising- wondering if life in the higher ranks is really all about evil greed. There are two other very compelling conspiracy stories, linked to a 9/11 bigger picture... those being the London bombings (see 7/7 ripple effect) and the assassination of JFK. I cannot give a definite analysis, or be the one that brings the truth out to the public, but as long as I can say I wasn’t completely in the dark then that’s good enough for me.
At Rinella Bay one lunchbreak- eating out in the hot sun with a couple of beers in the middle of December... now reminded of why I came here- you can’t argue with the lifestyle. I still have a total lack of fitness though, as highlighted in the weekly 5-a-side games. I plan a run almost every day but since October not one of them has come to fruition.
I chaired my first meeting at work, and found it to be quite enjoyable instead of nerve racking, though with this career change I’m wondering what I can actually do whenever I leave here. Engineering design and CAD seem to have gone out of the window, and I’m not convinced that management will be the way forward, but I’m not going to worry, I always find the best path. This job is great for general knowledge... details of systems involved in infrastructure, general operation of large buildings, contractual management, H&S, site visits etc... it is a bit daunting going on site and being the English one, but it’s nothing I can’t get used to. I won’t always be the outsider. Now my probation period is over, it’s a good sense of achievement having been accepted. In the past, some have probably thought I’m hard work to get along with, but in my opinion I’ve always been good with new people. The problem is that I get progressively worse as familiarity increases (and breeds contempt). I don't seem to feel that way about anyone here yet though, so maybe that trend has broken.
The first xmas meal at SCM’s Bistro... very nice, apart from being drawn into a political argument... after a few minutes I decided to sidestep the ignorant comments as I can’t expect to have any leverage in a dispute over someone else’s government. But at least these things draw your attention to who is 'on your side' and who is not.
Trying to shop in Sliema gave me confirmation that it’s impossible to find decent affordable stuff anywhere in the country, so I give up. I’ll wait until I go to England. I got in one of my pissed off moods again, taking it out on my housemate, mostly because he says things to reinforce my negative frame of mind, so it’s fair game. I feel trapped at times as it will be ages until I can afford to buy a place of my own. Right now it's as if people are generally annoying me, not respecting me and that nobody is on my wavelength. Therefore, I spent most of the weekend by myself, sorting my upstairs room out so I don't have my stuff sprawled across every other room, and wondering how to fix the weak wi-fi signal up there. The best thing at the moment is getting acquainted with the satellite TV channels. Whatever I’ve said before, it’s definitely better than nothing and a luxury to have all the premiership matches. But as I can never let myself enjoy anything, now I am worried about my time becoming unproductive.
The weekend started with another shit haircut from the barber… once again I had to touch up the fringe myself, so it’s definitely the last time I go to that one. On to the aquarium shop to get a couple of fish for a mate’s xmas present… but I got busted when he walked in as I was paying... things don’t seem to be going right... I’m finding the gym a lot easier without the sickness induced by the creatine powder, but now it appears that a whole football team have joined (Birkirkara FC) and the best thing is that they all turn up together and always while I am there. Watching Saw 6 provided an outlet for my frustration.
Then, Sunday was wrapped up with a bit of paranoid research about the theory of a new world order, which some say is the goal of a few very influential people in the western world. The goal involves controlling the population through fear (fake terrorism?) leading ultimately to everybody being chipped… and all their personal data is stored on that chip, such that if they step out of line in any way, their chip will be turned off and they won’t be able to operate in society. It is the ultimate way to control the population and the distribution of wealth. It may seem unrealistic, but I wonder if it isn’t already happening?
The following week is the run up to Christmas, and I’m getting ready to leave for England... but more illness puts a spanner in the works, along with heavy rain which means flooded roads, and mosquitoes at night stopping me sleeping (why are they still knocking about?). I need to top up my UK bank account but I’m quite confused about the best way to exchange € for £... HSBC offer a rate of 0.82... is that good? I decided the best thing would be to take euro notes to England and see what rates they will offer in the post office.
Another Christmas meal at Don Berto, Cottonera Waterfront, hosted by one of the building contractors... great food, enjoyed the evening despite my cold, and was proud of myself that I managed not to sneeze... also received encouraging comments about my Maltese speaking, but still I know I’m a million miles away from being fluent. As already mentioned I get minimal help from my (Maltese) housemate, though I have now realised he has one of those attention deficit problems, so it’s not his fault that he doesn’t ever listen. But that doesn’t make it any less annoying... especially when I have important subjects to discuss, e.g. for this evening, “Drugs in Prison”... My opinion is that it should be (and is) tolerated to some extent in that environment as it’s a solution for keeping a lid on the pressures that build up. In a wider sense I am sceptical about the illegality of drugs in society... some things are only deemed illegal because the government cannot make a profit from them. Whichever way the government tries dress it up, the fact is that money comes before health, and I believe recreational drugs are only made illegal on a superficial level... somewhere higher up they are most probably an integral part of the economy in some way... But typically this discussion was cut short as something frivolous happened like a fly coming into the room and my mate’s attention was then fully captured by that.
Xmas shopping was complete by mid-week. I like the feeling of a plan coming together, despite constant niggles over whether I could have bought better stuff... did a steak dinner in record time then rushed to football... best game so far and no muscle strains for the first time. I had strange thoughts on the way back, imagining I was going to crash, or that I will return home to find my mate dead... but I didn’t. The next day, after receiving a massive hamper from another of the contractors, I set about preparing a last Xmas dinner before I leave. It went well, apart from the turkey turning out to be a chicken, but I’ve learned to expect that sort of thing in Malta by now.
Friday 23rd- last day of work for the year, then to the airport... I boarded last and secured a row of seats to myself at the back, as I always do. So the Malta blog is effectively over, but I will persevere with my ramblings until the end of the year. On landing, the first thing I noticed was that nothing has changed (?), but the temperature is certainly a different level of bitterness. The Maltese are moaning about the cold but they do so while dressed in just one or two layers, without preparing for it at all, and you don’t really need to when it hardly ever goes below 10deg. On the train to Crewe I found it odd that everybody just speaks English and that’s it... almost boring that I don’t have to struggle to understand them... but obviously it’s me being odd, not them. Back at M&D’s house after 8 months gone and immediately I felt settled as if I'd never been away, which was also a bit strange. The cat seemed to feel the same way... either that or he had completely forgotten me, so at least I don’t have to feel guilty now. At the end of the day, he’s a hunter and his only desire is to rip birds’ heads off, not to bond with humans. Overall, the best thing about being back is the simple home comforts that you take for granted- the TV channels, the uninterrupted hot water supply, and tap water that doesn’t taste like sewage.
Xmas eve- for the first time ever, I’m not that bothered whether I go out this evening or not... the agenda is different now. A journey into town invoked old memories, mostly unwanted. I don’t remember being that unhappy here in the past, but I think it would depress me now if I was staying. Being in Malta ticks a lot of boxes for me. I suppose most people become bound by social circles and families, but for some reason I decided not to conform to that. As I got to the post office, I saw that I had made a big error by bringing euro notes over here to exchange- the rate is appalling, about 0.7, I can’t believe I was that naive. Clearly the best option would be to transfer online between banks. There is no way I’m cashing in my €480 and losing £50 in the process, so that leaves me with even less £’s to spend while I’m here. I walked around for ages getting bits and pieces I can’t find in Malta, all wrapped up in my hat and scarf but I seemed to be the only one dressed like that. There are quite a few changes e.g. new restaurants, but no change in overall perception; I hate to say, it’s still dead.
I decided just to wait and see if anyone got in touch about going out... nobody did... between 7 and 9 was a bit depressing as it’s the first time I’ve stayed in for 15 years, but after that I just accepted that things have moved on... people have kids... life has become digital... so I have to reinvent myself too. It’s my own fault, I could have easily contacted someone. Back to the TV- I've missed my food programmes and Jamie Oliver inspired me to help out in the kitchen... but it still doesn’t feel like Christmas... so that feeling wasn’t due to being abroad, it was just me getting older. At least I will have a clear head tomorrow...
Christmas day! Finally it does actually feel like Christmas... but somehow I still don’t have a clear head... I’m definitely going out next year as now I see the hangover adds to the sentiment of the day. Usual wine, food, presents, blah blah (though I don't think I did get the best presents after all)... the morning excitement fades to a feeling of “is that it” and “is it really worth the hype”... but it’s all about family so yes it is worth it. Joyous facebook posts make me cringe so I stayed out of all that and started the festive 9/11 discussions as promised, along with Who Wants To Be A Millionaire family interactive edition.
I couldn’t sustain the wine drinking so switched to coffee and for the first time ever on xmas day I did the washing up. Why am I even writing this, it's so boring... a big sign I’m getting old... I think Christmas needs children for it to feel magical like it used to be. However, it was still a great day, and no ‘disasters’. There wasn’t much catching up conversation, it was as if I’d not been away at all. Probably my fault again- I’m a thinker not a talker. As the night drew in I left M&D sprawled out on the sofa and went upstairs watching TV by myself into the early hours, just like I always have done on this day (but nobody ever knew).
Usual stuff over the next few days- eating low protein high fat meals, seeing family and beating them at various games, rubbish TV (which shows I’m not really missing anything)... also went for a pathetic run (I walked about 5 times) through the fields and past my house that I’m renting out. I noticed how quiet the estate is... could I go back there again? I think I tried that life just to show people I could do it, but maybe I can’t. I’m not sure what will eventually make me settle. I still have a lot of ambition and a fear of being trapped. A bit weird maybe but that’s how I am, it suits me to be free.
I finally made M&D watch a couple of the 9/11 truth documentaries... it was a relief to introduce someone else to all of this, and for them to admit that yes there is something wrong with what we've been told. But I don’t think they were that bothered either way. Alright, I really will shut up about it now.
Packing to leave… the feeling of xmas being over and assessing life… wondering what there is for me in England when I eventually come back… I felt bad leaving everyone all over again, but I vowed to be back a few times next year. I thought I would fly back from London, last minute stuff, but I got ill again, so no night out, only really time for a quick tour around the Piccadilly area and to get a curry from one of the food stalls in Camden. It was raining and all a bit miserable, especially being in London on your own it’s not the best thing… also the Travelodge was cold and the TV kept switching itself off, which was handy. Again, I have to come back to see friends and have a proper sightseeing plan. In fact, the overall aim for next year is to start bringing all of my ambitions to fruition, but for tonight I settled in with my hot chocolate, 4 pack of mousse and whole pack of biscuits.
Early start on NYE… I got myself to Gatwick for the morning flight, compelled to get rid of my last tenner, but still couldn’t bring myself to buy a £9 breakfast, so I just didn’t eat. Despite arriving in good time, I still found myself sprinting to the gate, which was miles away, and boarding at the last second… got my row of seats at the back, then spent the journey reading about the recession and how 2012 is pencilled in to be another dark year with little hope. Where is the best place to be under these circumstances? I felt to be honest I was heading for exactly the right place.
And I did feel at home once I landed… straight to the usual Irrera café… wondering where to go or what exciting event might be planned for tonight. But as it turned out there was nothing… mainly just listening to my mate’s health worries about high blood pressure. As with xmas eve, it was strange to stay in and felt a little bit pathetic... being sober on NYE is nothing to be proud of, but not exactly the end of the world either. We raided the hamper I got from work and watched live bands (in Valletta) on TV... it didn’t look like a great atmosphere so I was glad I didn’t go down there. In spite of a quiet night, I still managed to slice my hand open on a broken wine glass, so I can’t say it was a gratifying end to the year. But why should we be compelled to attach this facet of enchantment to the coming of the 1st of Jan? It’s just another day, and every day has the same potential...
RB
Any news since 2011?
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