Strummer in Malta - November 2011

Caught up on sleep and more positive- I decided November will be a month to forget saving and to buy all the things I need for my upstairs room: TV, sky dish, guitar amp, laptop repair, a door for soundproofing... as well as the car service, big electricity bill and xmas shopping. It sets back my plan to save for a flat but I’ll start getting very restless if I don't get these things set up soon.

Rain all week but I'm not bothered, still keeping my head down. I hit a wall with the language book- suddenly it tells me there are ten forms of each verb where you can add letters here and there to change the meaning. As I can hardly string a sentence together yet, I need to start practising the basics rather than delving into all this. I was the same at school with French- no problem with the writing, but terrible at the speaking. I’m embarrassed to do the accent unless nobody can hear me- then I can pronounce things pretty well, but what’s the point in that?

Traffic is still atrocious, but it’s even worse going from South to North- thank God I don’t travel in that direction in the morning. The queue formation seems quite random so it turns out the optimum route has to be a dynamic one, containing contingency plans. Accepting traffic jams is never an option. At least the car is sorted now, no more fan belt screeching, leaking oil etc.

On the first Friday I woke with a bright idea that I could buy a flat in Vittoriosa: no traffic problems as it’s next door to work, good amenities, new development taking place, central area but not as busy as Sliema... but my enthusiasm was drained away when everybody told me the people are weird around there and they wouldn’t accept or understand an English person. I did notice already it’s the type of place where people sit outside their house all day on a chair and just stare gormlessly at people walking past. I am at least 12 months away from buying somewhere anyway, that's if I do end up doing it, so for now I’ll concentrate on what I've already got. Hence, I went on a trip to Mtarfa with Mark and his son to get a satellite dish, bought via Malta Park (a website for selling stuff locally). Now I just need a decoder, to work out how to install this beast, and to contact the Italian bloke who provides the subscriptions... all above board (?).

I love the feeling of a Saturday morning, despite missing playing 5-a-side and having to put up with all the Maltese political debates going on- they just seem to shout angrily and constantly interrupt each other, so I can’t see how there is any productive outcome. Soon I will be able to watch English TV again... out early to buy a 32” Sharp LCD for €350 from a shop called Flamingo in Qormi. I had looked at two other stores- Sound Machine (in Birkirkara) and Scan (in Marsa) but they were not good value for money and the salespeople didn't do a good job of disguising it. As I’ve said before, there isn’t a central place you can go for this kind of shopping- stores are spread all over the place and you will be stuck without local knowledge.

Big crash on the M5 back in England involving about 35 vehicles and multiple deaths... I tend to take a morbid interest in these things, but as the news is saturated with disasters and crimes I think that shows most people share this trait whether they admit it or not.

There are two canaries living upstairs in the flat, both in small cages, one of which was wild and somehow my housemate caught and imprisoned him. This was about a year ago now and I don’t like it one bit. Birds have wings so why would somebody want to deny them the gift of flight for the sake of having them as living ornaments? So I decided I am going to set the "wild" canary free. I will spend a week trying to convince him to do it, then I will just do it myself (but he doesn’t know that yet).  Otherwise, had a quiet weekend, but I will have to get used to that.


At times I'm feeling totally out of the loop at work with everybody behaving odd and distant... trying to work out if it’s me or them with the problem. No doubt there is a strange atmosphere in general as the work is going so slowly for reasons undisclosed. By the end of the week I'm getting myself more involved. Confidence at work only comes with knowledge and I am definitely getting there now. That is what was lacking at my old job- wanting to learn. It is a big side step though, being a coastal engineer who is now managing cleaning contracts, infrastructure works and LEED (environmental aspects of construction), but soon there will be work on the promenade, coastal protection, and the construction of a lagoon, so I’ll feel more at home.

I hate talking about the weather, it’s such an unoriginal topic, but I have to take the opportunity to gloat... it’s mid-November and I can still sit outside in a baking sun at dinnertime... even when it rains it’s usually a thunderstorm so it’s exciting... the sky always looks interesting whatever the weather or time of day... mild night temperatures... no accumulation of snow here since the 1850s! I’m increasingly enjoying the feeling of having one up on all those who are suffering the onset of winter in England.


I bought my guitar amp- had my mind set on a 20W Laney 'Prism’, but the salesman persuaded me to get a newer model, the Laney 'Linebacker', which has less features and looks shit. Hence I ended up going back to get the one I originally wanted. You can save a lot of time if you don’t let people talk you into buying things you don’t want. No harm done though... until I tried it out and there was no sound output... a fault with either my cable or both the electric and acoustic guitars... very frustrating, but I’ve waited 6 months, what is another few days for a new cable to arrive from eBay.

More exploring local areas at dinnertimes e.g. ‘The Three Cities’... mainly Vittoriosa Waterfront- containing a prestigious area with restaurants, and Senglea- a strange place, very cramped and shabby. I like to find out where every road leads to, especially when I unexpectedly come across links between areas I already knew. However, I realised I don’t want to live round here after all. You'd think it would be a bit nicer due to its central location and its rich history but instead it is a bit like a rough estate.

At the risk of repeating myself, there is nowhere across the whole country that looks 'finished'. Everything seems half-hearted... roads, walls, buildings, amenities, transport planning... and just the way everything is run in general... but still there is no doubt it has great character. This may all be directly attributable to the weather, perhaps highlighting the downside of having a good climate. But a lifestyle balance exists wherever you are in the world, and I have to remember it is the "anything goes" way of life which attracted me to this country in the first place... Oh I just remembered another annoying thing is that there are never any signs in supermarkets to guide you, but I did stumble across Gbejna (fresh)- a tasty milk/cheese product... And finally a big plus point is that they do not go mental with early advertising for Christmas, which I am told is fully underway in the UK... depressing commercialism.


Not much to note this weekend... forcing myself to the gym despite being unmotivated (but these usually turn out to be the best sessions)... Drinking coffee at 4x strength makes things more interesting... more space-science videos, more reading about massacres- at Port Arthur, Australia in 1996- a bit disturbing I know but I’m fascinated by such extreme and horrific events and the motivations for the perpetrator... also went to see the film Contagion about a virus pandemic- not bad, maybe a bit boring 7/10. Someone spoke to me in Maltese after the film and I just had to laugh and pretend I understood. It happens alot. I wish I could reply, I’m bored of English now... I've ticked it off and need to move on to the next language. Eventually I should be able to get pretty fluent at most of the world’s languages.

Started the sky dish installation- it’s huge and dominates the roof garden. Also got the new amp working, but the fender definitely has an earthing problem to be fixed and my playing is very rusty.

I’ve become ill yet again, and restless due to unfinished tasks and xmas shopping needing to be started... but work keeps getting in the way, with my main mission at the moment being to investigate the meter readings to find out if the €122K electricity bill for 12 months is genuine. Then I’ve been scouring the supermarkets at dinnertimes for gift ideas. I always put a lot of thought into presents, but here there is not a lot of inspiration. On my travels I heard some girl say "x’patata" at me when I walked past- I won’t say what it means, just that it’s nice to start understanding more. Also, checked out Cottonera gym close to work... it's big, but unfortunately a big hole... too dirty despite the cheap price and I wouldn’t feel comfortable there.

You know it’s getting a bit cold when you start to need bedding at night. This may seem like a strange thing to say, as this time last year I was suffering -15deg night temperatures.

On Thursday, I finally succumbed to my sickness and had a day off- mainly watching videos of snakes eating other animals, looking at the thunderstorms outside and cleaning. It’s nice to have time to do these things, rather than everything revolving around the daily grind. Felt better in the evening and looked round Swieqi- a small housing area near St Julian’s which looks ok for buying. I don't want anywhere which is cramped and busy, but it can't be too remote either, and it is hard to find a balance between the two.

Before the weekend started, I began looking at 9/11 conspiracy videos just out of curiosity... but a few things I was unaware of (from credible sources) got me hooked, so I ended up spending all weekend reading more and more about it all. I am hesitant to say this, at the risk of (ironically) being called a lunatic, but eventually I became convinced that the US government really did set the whole thing up. There are so many anomalies that have been uncovered by engineers, scientists, pilots, air traffic controllers, demolition experts... thus you begin to realise that the events we’ve had explained to us by official news reports actually defy the laws of physics i.e. buildings falling at free fall speed without the use of explosives. I can’t believe I haven’t delved deeper into this until now, as the evidence is overwhelming. Once you get past the attitude of saying “surely not”... this ‘conspiracy theory’ is so feasible it is obvious. It has suddenly changed how I look at life and what a government means- it is basically a wielding of power, and everybody assumes this will always be used for the sake of good, despite the basic traits of human nature making these two actions wholly incompatible.

So why would they do it?... False flag operations have been carried out many times in history due to war being a very profitable investment when you know you are going to win. It is clearly documented that they were “looking for an excuse” to invade Afghanistan/Iraq for a number of years. At the very least, the US were complicit in 9/11 and they let it happen... but the evidence points to them being totally responsible and then carrying out the biggest cover up in history. The only confusion I have is what the exact roles of the hijackers were, but this whole topic is one I will be thinking about for a long time to come. It annoys me that it is not out in the open, though I am sure one day the truth will emerge. Once you research into this, you see that it is a huge movement- not just some silly accusation like with the moon landing (or was that fake too?). Of course there are always people who would never open themselves up to this sort of idea, but I would urge anybody who is intrigued to do some internet research. Most convincing is the spoken word, as you tend to question the reliability of text, but when you hear a physicist clearly laying everything out, the government’s story is impossible to believe.

The only other weekend activity was an event at Ta’ Qali called Kwalita Malta, which I went to (twice)- containing stalls selling and promoting local produce. It was ok but I mostly just bought cakes. I get very irritated when it’s not busy and the sellers round on you like vultures... then even more wound up when it is busy because idiots are getting in my way. A no win situation. At least xmas shopping is now underway.

Monday morning- the fan belt snapped, thus putting me in a really shit mood. I was towed to a garage where the mechanic didn’t know what I was saying, so we had to rely on my mate to interpret. I hate this situation even when I can communicate with the mechanic, but twice as much when I can’t. Then to make it even better, it turned out I needed expensive new parts to solve this recurring fan belt problem. No more car trouble now please.

The laptop’s RAM has been upgraded and it is running well for the first time ever... for the sake of €40, why did I put up with it for the last 4 years? The sky dish is also nearly installed, but not quite- my mate’s son is doing it, so it’s all a bit trial-and-error and time consuming, but no complaints, we are all learning.

An Indian man from Dubai came to install some cheap signs in the only completed building at SmartCity. I’m used to dealing with communication barriers by now, but this guy was also lacking in basic common sense, so I had to babysit him for two days and give him lifts to/from work into uneccessary traffic. Not the best.

At Cottonera Waterfront for the first of many work leaving do’s- most of the talk is about them all leaving and me taking on all of their work- laughing at how I will cope. I am disappointed... just as I was settling, getting integrated, joking around etc... most of the people are now leaving and everything is to be shaken up again. New people will eventually arrive, but in the meantime I will carry a lot more responsibility and accountability, and I am not a big fan of chairing meetings. The same evening we all went to Black Gold in Gzira... I have missed sitting around in pubs and putting the world to rights. It’s impossible not to start going on about work stuff, but here I don’t seem to mind. I don't feel the urge to be antisocial and to try to be different, as I did at my old job. But I do still talk about myself too much. Or maybe I don’t. Do I think too much? No.

Work has started to depress me slightly though... Things seem to have suddenly become hectic and unorganised, on top of the obliteration of all social activity which is impending. Even though I am the one staying, I feel as if I am the one who is left out... But there is really nothing to get down about. I just need to reshuffle and prepare a new attitude.

So on Saturday I was all set for a productive weekend... but it turned out really shit instead... starting with the fact that it’s nearly impossible over here to find a large padded envelope... then the postage to send Dad’s birthday present came to €19 (more than the gift itself)... then I got stung again at the butcher's- asking for a beef joint but being given a big slab of sirloin steak instead for €35, great!... the only positive thing was an hour of beer and guitar before going out to some house party... but then normal service was resumed as the party was awful- strange people and terrible food! Loads of canopees and literally every one of them was a disaster. I can’t understand people who delude themselves into thinking they can cook... chewy pasties, burnt pizza, dry rancid meat... I just drank more to get through it, thinking this is not the social group I want to settle in... and this is not me being antisocial, you had to be there to understand.

So the upshot of me drinking more was that I got home and managed to fall asleep with the laptop on top of me... then woke up at 5am to find the laptop on the floor with the screen smashed, though I could make out a bit of text saying “OS not found”... great news!... I tried to pretend it hadn’t happened but deep down I knew the consequences straight away and thus couldn’t get back to sleep. On top of the usual hangover depression, this was not good for me in any way... all sorts of negative things came to mind. I was telling myself that nobody’s died etc... but here we go again- another big expense and inconvenience- most likely losing all my data. These disasters are always down to alcohol, and it always turns out so costly. Surely it’s time to cut it out altogether.

I blanked all this out for a while with a bitching session about how bad last night’s party was, then went out for a drive in some countryside area near Mgarr. But I had a bad hangover and an even worse cold, so there was no way to be positive really. What a shit weekend.

Monday blues followed- I am told the whole laptop has been paralysed, it definitely can’t be fixed, and it will be nearly impossible to retrieve the data. But I am holding on to the word “nearly”. Not only do I hate losing data, but I hate not being able to find out exactly what data I’m losing. I did a back up in April, but still there is 6 month's worth of photos, documents, downloads... all lost in cyberspace. I can’t think about it too much or it annoys me... just have to sit tight. Getting busier at work sort of helps, but also doesn’t help as it reminds me of being dropped in at the deep end, as discussed already, and needing to break the interface between office and site. I am not convinced that the construction workers will listen to anything a foreigner has to say. Not alot of peace of mind to be had. At least one positive thing- it looks like I have found a group of Maltese to play 5-a-side with, thanks to one of the lads who has just left.


Laptop hunting- I have to get one with a better spec, otherwise it feels even more like a waste. The old one was pretty shit really, I think I can mentally engineer it into a positive thing that I get a new one.


Wednesday- I played my first game of football in 6 months. It was a bit daunting, feeling like a spare part amongst strangers, all Maltese, and refering to me as “L-Ingliż”, thinking I wouldn’t be able to understand. But they were friendly enough and as soon as I started running about, getting out of breath within 10 minutes, all self-conscious thought evaporated, apart from realising how unfit I am. Will do better next week.


To round off the month- after putting air in the tyres, in fear of getting a flat tyre, the same evening I got a flat tyre... really pissed off (again) and wondering what is coming next. I’m becoming afraid to do anything in fear of something breaking and financial repercussions. A car crash is most likely I think. But my frustration has gone full circle and I’ve decided to laugh off all the stupid stuff that is happening.